How to Change Beliefs
Beliefs are extremely powerful.
Beliefs (and thoughts) are also not always true. But we usually think that they are. Sometimes we take them as facts that will never change.
Beliefs are like the glasses through which we see the world, ourselves, others, health, work, life at large.
And one way to know you have false/inaccurate beliefs is if you are thinking too negatively about things in general. Things won’t work out. Things are going to fall apart. You never have enough time. There’s too much stuff to do. Nothing is good enough. Etc.
This is powerful because once you can catch this, you can absolutely change it. And the way we view everything in life? Changes how we feel about life.
In Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, they’ve come up with the brilliant notion:
You’ll know that your own thoughts and beliefs are balanced and realistic perceptions of reality when…
You see both the negative and the positive of all situations.
Since beliefs can literally skew reality (in untrue ways crazy enough), we want to be intentional and aware of what our beliefs are. And when they are far too negative, that is when we can catch that our views are not realistic, and it’s our mindset that is likely the problem.
Not to say that circumstances in life aren’t hard or bad or unaligned, but our mindset can make an unaligned life much, much worse and quickly.
Now, here is how to catch your own beliefs:
Besides coaching, one way you can determine your beliefs is through written or verbal journaling (I personally LOVE the Untold voice journaling app that talks back to you). Write out all your fears, doubts, hesitations, and beliefs about certain life areas.
It can be about yourself, your health, your work, your relationships, your living situation, your future, spirituality, etc.
Now, on another piece of paper, you can write out what you want to believe about those situations instead.
These are new beliefs that you can practice telling yourself. We want them to be realistic AND more hopeful, loving, supportive, and positive.
Bonus tip:
You can use words that end in “ing” to help your brain believe the new beliefs more easily. For example:
“I’ve tried everything to lose weight” might instead become: “I am open to learning new ways to be healthier and lose weight that I don’t know that I don’t know.”
“I’ll never be able to change jobs” might instead become “I am practicing seeing what’s out there in terms of a new job; others have changed jobs before, it can’t be impossible.”
“There’s too much stuff to do, I will never get enough done” might instead become “I am willing to try 3-5 most important tasks per day, and that will be enough for now, there will always be things that need to get done, and I’m practicing being okay with that fact.” (this one is wild because our stress comes from a perceived sense of urgency and when we remove the urgency part, we actually become okay with having things to do. Can we be busy and present/relaxed/trusting that it will all get done???
You get the idea, really run with this. Write those beliefs down!
Crazy thought/realization that took me almost three decades to figure out:
WE ARE USUALLY TOTALLY UNAWARE OF WHAT OUR OWN BELIEFS ARE! AND THEY ARE OPERATING DAY IN AND DAY OUT IN OUR BRAINS FOR OUR ENTIRE LIVES.
I can’t tell you how powerful our beliefs are, but I’m hoping you get the gist :)
Besides saying your thoughts, beliefs, fears, etc out loud (again, coaching is wonderful for shifting beliefs and the voice journaling app helps too since it refelcts things back to you), writing them down is the next best thing that way you can actually see them, analyze them, question them, lovingly challenge them, and be more aware of them.
We are not always aware of the stories we are telling ourselves.
And we are always telling ourselves stories. About everything. That’s just who we are.
I hope this post was helpful for you. Anything can be changed; we just have to be open to believing that.
