how to self-soothe in healthy ways

Self-soothing + reparenting are genius concepts that really hit home for me from the book How to Do the Work by Dr. Nicole LaPera. These techniques are basically being our own inner wise parent and soothing our wounded inner child. I believe strongly that we all have this dynamic inside of ourselves.

So when times get tough we can turn to these tactics to make ourselves feel better.

Self-soothing in healthy ways looks like hyperawareness of thoughts and changing of thoughts. Now don’t confuse this will bypassing. It is perfectly normal - and healthy - to process and feel our emotions. Feeling them as soon as they start to arise. But after we are done emoting it’s very helpful to catch those negative thoughts and turn them around.

Some examples could include

Being alone doesn’t have to be lonely.

I am stressed but why is that and how can I help myself through that? (such as flipping on some YouTube yoga, journaling, buying a planner that has a calendar to be more organized, etc)

I am so sad right now but this won’t last forever and I trust myself to be okay.

Taking deep breaths when furious and reminding yourself that you are triggered right now so don’t act until you calm down a bit.

Feeling insecure about certain things but reminding yourself that those things can be worked on.

Self-soothing in healthy ways looks like

Calling a friend to vent.

Stopping everything you are doing as soon as you feel a big wave of emotions coming on and letting them come out.

Doing some stretching or a 10 minute meditation (I like to put this Love Soundbath by Meditative Mind on YouTube on in the background and set my phone timer for 15 minutes to meditate).

Going outside for a walk or taking a drive to get as deep into nature as humanly possible. And turning off the phone!

Going somewhere high up and enjoying the view.

Taking yourself out to a nice dinner.

Curling up with some blankets, tea, candles, pillows, and your pets for some Netflix or Gaia tv - after making sure you are still practicing healthy emotionally processing.

Looking on Google or Pinterest and finding pictures to put on your dream board. These could be places you want to go, material things you’d like to manifest, how much money you’d like to have, your favorite quotes and reminders, a picture of a loving relationship, pictures of friends, spiritual symbols, etc.

Journaling out everything that’s inside your head + heart.

There are, of course, other ways to self-soothe and you can do some reflecting + experimenting what ways work the best for you.

I hope you loved this article.